|They Never Let Me Sleep on Their Precious Bed, so How Can I Oophie in His Face?|
THINGS I MUST REMEMBER AS A DOG:
From Ginny Weissman
1. I must shake water out of my fur before entering the house.
2. I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to get sick.
3. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, deer, etc. just because I like the way they smell.
4. I will not steal my mom’s underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.
5. I will not play tug-o-war with dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
6. Sticking my nose in someone’s crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello.
7. I will not hump on any person’s leg just because I thought it was the right thing to do.
8. I will not fart in my owner’s face while sleeping on the pillow next to their head.
9. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
10. The toilet bowl is not a never ending water supply and, just because the water is blue, it doesn’t mean it is cleaner.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch in front of company.
“Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.” Lewis Grizzard