The lectures on the proper behavior when in the company of a lady continue. I tell Gizmo one of the secrets of getting along with a woman: “Especially when on a first date, and even for a long, long time after that, it is wise not to lick your balls (or anyone else’s, for that matter) even if dinner is over and you are at her apartment drinking Cognac.”
Gizmo looked at me as if he thought I was nuts. I looked at him with the knowledge that whether or not he needed the wisdom I was imparting, there were the unspoken rules that ought to be followed.
"I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." --Rita Rudner