What to #Remember as a #Dog

They Never Let Me Sleep on Their Precious Bed, so How Can I Oophie in His Face?

THINGS I MUST REMEMBER AS A DOG: 

From Ginny Weissman

1.              I must shake water out of my fur before entering the house.

2.              I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to get sick.

3.              I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, deer, etc. just because I like the way they smell.

4.              I will not steal my mom’s underwear and dance all over the backyard with it.

5.              I will not play tug-o-war with dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.

6.              Sticking my nose in someone’s crotch is not an acceptable way of saying hello.

7.              I will not hump on any person’s leg just because I thought it was the right thing to do.

8.              I will not fart in my owner’s face while sleeping on the pillow next to their head.

9.              I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.

10.           The toilet bowl is not a never ending water supply and, just because the water is blue, it doesn’t mean it is cleaner.

11.           I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch in front of company.

“Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.” Lewis Grizzard

How to get #adopted/rescued from a #pound:

Thank goodness, some nice people rescued me already.

Video: every home needs a Harvey: How to get #adopted/rescued from a #pound:

http://jabcatmovies.com/2011/06/ask-jabcat-answers-to-all-your-movie-questions/comment-page-1/#comment-12803

“There are three faithful friends - an old wife, an old #dog and ready money.”  Ben Franklin.

#Dog #Commandments, suggested

I feel so fine when you are with me.

     Some of these seem silly, buy I especially agree with #10, after our experience “putting down” Beowulf, who was in pain and who was taken away from us by the vet so he could be prepped for the final injection.  Once w2e were with him, he calmed down, looked at us (we had tears in our eyes), and then with the injection, went away: (Sent in by Ginny Weissman, the woman who arranged Gizmo’s rescue and adoption: 

For anyone who has a dog, Dogs Commandments
1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is likely to be painful.
2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.
3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.
4. Don’t be angry with me for long and don’t lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only you.
5. Talk to me. Even if I don’t understand your words, I do understand your voice when speaking to me.
6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.
7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt you, and yet I choose not to bite you.
8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I’m not getting the right food, I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or weak.
9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.
10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me, please. Never say you can’t bear to watch. Don’t make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there because I love you so.

“When a dog wags her tail and barks at the same time, how do you know which end to believe?” 
~ Anonymous

#rattlesnake versus #dog and #man

Let me tell you how I fought that giant rattlesnake

     I go to work out early in the afternoon, leaving Gizmo alone for less than two hours.  After a bounding, tail-wagging, licking, energetic greeting, it is obvious that he wants to be taken out.  I let him loose in the coyote-fence protected garden, where he bounds to the farthest corner, his favorites spot for elimination.

     Suddenly, Gizmo leaps backwards, almost levitating about a foot and a half into the air.  Then he begins to bark.  Then I hear a different sound, something like a metallic rattle.

     I go to the corner of commotion, where some circular wire fencing, suitable for training and protecting tomatoes, are lying under a work bench in a tangled mess.  Could the sound be the wind moving through the fencing?  I hit one end of the nearest tomato trainers and there is that rattling sound, which now begins to sound like a rattlesnake.  Meanwhile, Gizmo is barking, loudly, frequently.

     I call Eddie LeBow, my friend and a guy who hunted and captured huge rattlesnakes as a teenager.   When he arrives, we look, poke, prod, walk both sides of the coyote fence and see no snakes at all.  We do see evidence of gophers and pack rats, which might provide food for a rather big snake.  (Eddie gives me a hoe and tells me to use it to chop off the head of the snake if it comes after me.  I complain, “I’m a tenderfoot from Chicago and San Francisco.  How do you expect me to chop off the head of a rattlesnake charging at me?”  But I agree to try.

    We find no snake, but Eddie advises us to be vigilant and not to allow Gizmo outside off leash.  Later in the afternoon,  Gizmo is OK and apparently unbitten.  I’m a little nervous for several hours.  I actually think about going to bed with a heavy shovel by my side, in case the rattlesnake attacks in the middle of the night.

“I just bought a Chihuahua. It's the dog for lazy people. You don't have to walk it. Just hold it out the window and squeeze.” Anthony Clark

#Labrador #Loyal to fallen #hero, with somewhat happy ending.

Hawkeye, the loyal Labrador, refused to leave his master, even in death.

          Daily Mail, August 26, 2011:  A happy ending for Hawkeye:  Dog in heart-breaking photo by fallen master's coffin to spend rest of life with Navy SEAL's friend,     Navy SEAL Jon Tumilson's  Labrador retriever Hawkeye was loyal to the end, as he refused   to leave his master's side during an emotional funeral

Petty Officer Jon Tumilson, 35, killed in Afghanistan helicopter crash and Hawkeye. 

Labrador retriever Hawkeye at the emotional service.

         The Navy SEAL’s dog who tragically refused to leave   his fallen master’s side during an emotional funeral is going  to a good home.                                                                                                                         Labrador retriever Hawkeye sat by the coffin of his master    Petty Officer Jon Tumilson, 35, who was killed in the major    U.S. helicopter crash in Afghanistan this month.                                               Tumilson, of San Diego, California, was one of 38 killed on   August 6 when a rocket-propelled grenade took out a U.S. Chinook helicopter.                                                                                                                                     Mr Tumilson was remembered by around 1,500 mourners  but it was Hawkeye who really captured the public’s emotions in a photo taken by the fallen SEAL’s cousin, Lisa Pembleton.                                                                             Concerned members of the public who have seen the heart-wrenching     photo will be pleased to hear that there is a happy ending for Hawkeye.         He will be staying with Scott Nichols, who had previously looked after   him while Mr Tumilson was away on duty overseas. Family members         had followed Hawkeye into the funeral.                                                                                                His funeral was held last Friday in his hometown of Rockford, Iowa.

“No matter how little money and how few possessions you own,        having a dog makes you rich.” Louis Sabin #DogsRule

#Dog #Retrieves #Golf #Cart Keys

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/08/21/golden-retriever-valet_n_932456.html   

According to the Huffington Post, in Maine, a Golden Retriever named Kaleigh, age 6, takes golf cart keys at end of your round and returns the keys to the club house.  Now if she could only bring back a cold beer.

Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it. Unknown

#Calm a #dog during #thunder: help needed

Can't you protect me from the thunderstorm?

Finally, at the end of a somewhat vicious drought, we got some rain in Santa Fe, NM.  Along with it came lightning and some rather loud thunder.

Our last dog, the normal-sized Shih Tzu named Beowulf, was caught with us in the storm-shelter basement of our home in Michigan as a tornado roared close to the house.  Ever since that time of holding the dog, trying to comfort him, while being very nervous ourselves, we had a dog that was inconsolably afraid of thunderstorms: Beo would tremble, try to hide under the bed, etc.

With Gizmo, we try to be there for him during the thunder, although we now believe it is better to let him find his own places of repose, usually under our bed or my desk.  If he requests it, we gently pet him while trying to stay calm ourselves. 

Grace is advocating for getting some doggie tranquilizers, in case the thunder terrors get too much for him.  I say, no, let nature take its course.  What do you think?  Tranqs or petting?  Chemicals or “There, there”?

“The dog is a gentleman; I hope to go to his heaven, not man's”  Mark Twain