SCOUT, our neurotic family #yellow #Lab

By Katherine Cobb, journal-news.net

Our family currently includes one pet - a female yellow Labrador mix we named Scout after my husband brought her home 10 years ago.

        All dogs have their quirks, the qualities that make them unique, but no dog has ever behaved like my Scouty-girl. She has been plagued by neuroses since birth, a combination of Woody Allen and David Sedaris.

     •  Scout will come across her reflection in the stove front or kitchen door and bark madly at the intruder.

        •  She feels the need to smash her head into a wall, when she's sleeping.

COMMENT: I FEEL THE SAME AFTER A TOUGH DAY.

     •  She likes to lick the air, and the carpet, and can do it for 15 minutes at a time.

     •  She tends to eat in a certain order - milkbone first, kibble second.

COMMENT: HOW MANY HUMANS, AGES 4 AND ABOVE, DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT, EXCEPT FOR THE KIBBLE.

     •  She will not exit or enter a door unless you are on the correct side (her perceived correct side). She also requires you grant her wide berth when entering a door.

     •  She won't lick a metal bowl, but she will clean off a metal broiler pan, even if it takes her an hour.

COMMENT: THE BROILER PAN SEEMS TASTIER TO ME.

     Once, she burned her backside on a portable heater in our den because she was so intent on a guest's hamburger. When we smelled burning fur (an awful smell, I can assure you), we could hardly believe it. Even being on fire was not enough to move Scout from her food post!

COMMENT: FOOD FIRST, BURNING BUTT LAST.

        I usually take her for a walk after exercising, where the lunacy continues. Much like with the food, where she acts as if she's never been fed, Scout also acts like she's never been for a walk. She pants like a madwoman, yanking the leash in a zigzag formation in an effort to smell every foreign scent. She nips at the grass, a humorous sight when she's in jogging mode.

COMMENT: SOUNDS LIKE A CASE FOR THE #DOG #WHISPERER.

         "I love my dogs. They're the only people I know who, when I step through the door, greet me like I'm the Beatles." ~Bill Maher