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| Thank you, Cesar, for the Good Dog |
What I have learned from watching Cesar Millan, the Dog Whisperer, on the National Geographic Channel:
• Always go first through the door: that establishes that I am the boss, the leader of the pack. And it is another bit of advice that doesn’t work with my wife. Even if I make Cesar’s “SSSST” sound to get her thinking about what I am doing and point to an area behind me, she continues to complain that I am rude. Not once has she acknowledged that I am the boss.
• Control the space, everywhere. This means that it is your door, your hallway, your bedroom and your house (again: does not apply to your wife, especially if you are living in a Community Property state).
• Be calm and assertive: again, I have tried this with my wife, even punctuating that with “SSSSST” and have been astoundingly unsuccessful. She looks at me, not so calmly but quite assertive, as if to say, “What were you thinking?” Gizmo, on the other hand, seems to understand that when I am calm and assertive, he should not soil the rug directly in front of me.
Today, Grace took the dog to the dog park and calmly asserted that she was in charge. Gizmo wanted to dash from the car and run into the fenced enclosure. Grace made him calm down, sit and wait until she was ready to enter. Looks like Gizmo is in a pack with two calm, assertive leaders – and he seems to enjoy it.
(When tried that same calm assertive behavior with me, I didn’t understand what she wanted until she threw me on to my back, the least dominant position for a dog, and sat on my chest. I do not think that giggling was my proper response.)
• Every dog needs exercise. Gizmo loves his walks, but he protested when I tried to get him in a leotard for his Pilates Class, which held no interest for him,
• Never, ever give him a treat before he does something right or good. There was a magazine story and book about using animal methods to train a husband. The writer’s advice was not to scold the husband who doesn’t pick up his smelly socks or dirty underwear. The wife should praise – and even give a small treat – to the husband who gets his laundry closer to the hamper today than he did the night before. Of course, actually getting the laundry in the preferred location calls for loud celebration, much praise and the treat for which your husband has been yearning. Should be adapted before being attempted on a dog.
• Quickly establish that any bad behavior, especially barking at 4 am, is not a good thing to do.
After working on a No Barking Policy for less than a week, Gizmo now silently enters his cage/home and silently sleeps through the night. I only wish I had been that successful with my children, both of whom cried and wanted attention for far too long. We were certain that one child, who will remain nameless, would be crying all night long and would not be housebroken when he went off on his honeymoon. In fact, I proposed giving his bride-to-be a gold diaper pin for her wedding night.
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