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| "I wouldn't mind getting a massage." |
Despite the New York Times April 21, 2011 story in the Home Section encouraging dog owners to give their dogs a nightly massage of at least 20 minutes, I refuse to do that. In fact, I feel absolutely fine about never giving Gizmo a long, deep-tissue massage at any time in his life. When it comes to doggy massages, I am a Do-Nothing, Guilt-Free Zone.
Why should my dog get a massage when I am not being massaged? Note the headlined question for the story: ISN’T PETTING ENOUGH? Answer: it better be. The story began with Renee Lane lighting candles, putting “lilting guitar music” on the stereo in preparation for a 20-minute massage for her two-year-old toy poodle. Ms. Lane asked, “She helps reduce my stress, so why shouldn’t I reciprocate?” Indeed! The story continued with outrageous claims for massaging your dog including “increased circulation, improved digestion, strengthened immunity, stress relief, comfort at the end of life and muscle relaxation after a hard day (even if it was spent at the dog park).” The story’s lame attempt at inducing guilt within non-massaging dog owners was leavened by quotes from scoffers, who called the entire Deep Massage Your Dog Movement a load of poppy-poop. And I agree with them. Wait. Gizmo is sitting at my feet, staring up at me with soulful eyes and asking for something. Could it be a massage? When I asked him that, he wagged his tail, his eyes brightened and he put one paw on my thigh. Oh, all right. But I’ll only massage you for five minutes. We need some rules around here.
"A house without either a cat or a dog is the house of a scoundrel." - Portuguese Proverb
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