#Rules: #Kiss me, then kiss guest #dog's #butt

From the Internet, submitted by Ginny Weissman:

But do the rules apply if you have invited me on the bed?

The following was found posted very low on a refrigerator door.
Dear Dogs and Cats:
       The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
      I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed.  I am very sorry about this.  Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep.  It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible.                       

      For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door.  I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.
      The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.
     “Man is an animal that makes bargains: no other animal does this - no dog exchanges bones with another.  #Adam Smith