#Surfing #Dog #Calendar: Fun or Cruel?

Daily Mail:   Surf looks ruff today! Daring dogs ride the waves for hilarious charity calendar  #Dogs do not look like they are having fun                                   

      Dogs may be instinctively good at catching balls, but they are pretty clever at catching waves, too.   These pooches would rather go boarding than walkies as they showed off their skills on sun-kissed beaches near San Diego, California.  

You tell me: is Zooey having fun?

        In one hilarious picture, Jack Russell Zoey hangs ten before being launched into the air from the force of the wave.                                                                                                           

        COMMENT: Hilarious to you, not so funny to Zooey.

       They may be barking mad, but they love competing against other canines in four-legged competitions. 

               COMMENT: “Barking mad” indicates you have overused your allotted metaphors. 

        Animal shelter volunteer Dina Demeo-Grover, 55, and her late husband, photographer John, collected the snaps for her annual charity calendar.  All the dogs have lifejackets and if the surf gets too much for them they can simply hop off the board and swim back to shore. 

             COMMENT: Through 10- to 20-foot waves?  Which seem bigger to the Dachshound.   Hmmm

        New dogs are trained every year at special surf clinics while seasoned pets can improve their technique.   

         COMMENT:  improvement means not drowning?

         Dina's husband of 20 years died earlier this month, but she plans to continue with the calendar as a tribute to him. 

          COMMENT: another reason to agree with Woody Allen and hear people say at your funeral, “He’s alive.”

         All money raised from the £8.20 calendar will go to a variety of charities, whose work includes animal rescue, children's welfare and aid for the elderly. 

        COMMENT: And devices to resuscitate dogs.

Daily Mail story at:   : http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2064268/Surf-looks-ruff-today-Daring-dogs-ride-waves-hilarious-charity-calendar.html#ixzz1eUtiCAd0

     
 "If your dog doesn't like someone you probably shouldn't either."
--Unknown

#Dog waits for signal before armpit time

You know what I want: The Signal. 

     It is late, nearly 11 pm and it is obvious to us that we may be minutes from going to sleep.  The question is: do we watch some more television or turn it off, go to bed and read a book until we can read no more.                                                                                   

      We look down towards the floor and there is Gizmo staring back at us.  This may be his time.  The stare is not threatening.  There is a calm, pleading, direct quality to it.  He is asking for something.     

        We know this is a tense moment for him.  He has been waiting a long time for the merest, slightest nod from us.  I move my head a few millimeters to the left.                                                                  

       That is all it takes.  Permission granted.  Job accepted.  Without coiling, without seeming to tense a single muscle, Gizmo is momentarily airborne.  His leap is sure, his direction pure: he is suddenly standing on the couch between Grace and I.  THIS IS HIS TIME OF GREATEST PLEASURE!!!     

          Then his head is nuzzling my armpit as he is pushing his face forward, his tail wagging as if he is keeping time for a marching band on steroids.                                                                                                   

      I have called Gizmo our Political Dog because he wants to greet and please every living thing he meets, even Republicans.  Now he proves that he lives personal notions of equality as he swiftly turns his attention to Grace.                                                                                                                  

          He pushes into her armpit, almost lunging into it, presenting his happy, wagging tail to me.  If he has managed to find some skin between her pants and her blouse, he licks (and sometimes gently nibbles) that area as if he has found the most delicious food ever to be discovered.                           

           Grace is giggling now, encouraging more rooting into her armpit, more mad tonguing of her side, more joyous exploration of his mistress.  She exclaims, “I love this dog,” and I agree.                

          Later, when we are in bed, after I have brushed my teeth and completed my increasingly complex ablutions (including taking the correct pills every other day, etc.), I feel energetic and joyous.  This is probably because my infusion that morning included a steroid, which tends to make me energetic and happy.   For me, a steroid is a good drug because it not only makes the other drugs I take to hold my multiple Myeloma at bay, but it gives me temporary, happy energy.                                                  

        I get into bed, move closer to Grace and put my head in her armpit, waggling is back and forth, pushing forward (no nibbling, my dog imitation will not go that far).                                                  

        Grace knows what I am doing and begins to laugh, but does not move towards me, offering a nice smile, a bit of gay giggling, but not an indication of intense, physical loving.                                  

          Conclusion: what works effortlessly for the dog in his interaction with a human is only partially acceptable to my wife.  Dog = one, human = ½.

       
"If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer."
Alfred North Whitehead

#AKC: Training The #Compulsive #Kisser #dog -- and my un-training

I'll kiss you if you kiss me.  No tongue, I "promise."

     If your dog is a compulsive kisser, the #American #Kennel #Club's Canine Good Citizen Director and Certified Applied Animal Behaviorist Mary Burch offers the following tips on how to help stop this behavior:

- Don't reinforce any licking. Until you solve the problem, don't happily fuss over the dog as it "gives kisses" to greet you. In many cases, the licking problem began with the dog giving you kisses.  (BUT WHAT IF YOU ENJOY DOGGY KISSES)

- Teach a new skill. Train your dog to do a new command that does not involve licking, but does involve getting affection and attention from you.  (COMMENT: Give an order like: “Lick my wife, not me.” )

- Try redirecting the behavior. If your dog is a serious licker, try directing the behavior somewhere else, like going outside, throwing the ball around, or practicing some obedience skills. It's important to remember timing. You don't want to start a fun game with your dog while she's in the middle of licking - that will simply reinforce the behavior you don't want.  (COMMENT: ESPECIALLY IF HE OR SHE IS LICKING YOUR CROTCH… AND YOU ENJOY THAT.)

- Take a time out. In serious cases, consider giving your dog a brief, two-minute time out. If she licks you and won't stop, say "no lick" and take her to the other side of the room. Put her in a down-stay and do not give her attention for the two minutes - having contact with you will reinforce the licking.  

     OUR PREVIOUS DOG, a Shih Tzu named Beowulf, enjoyed licking.  So I devised what I thought was a wonderful game.  Knowing that Beo would lick anything anywhere given the chance, I would pretend to train Beo in the etiquette of the first date.  I’d pick him up and bring him close to my face, which he loved to lick, while I said, “Beo, if you get a chance to kiss the girl on that first date, never ever use your tongue.”  I would then bring him close to my lips, which he would immediately lick, as I said, “No, pretend it is our first date and first kiss.  No licking on the first kiss.”  Beo, of course, would respond with another lick or three.                                                                                                                                          My wife, Grace, would say that I was confusing the dog by training him to participate in my joke.   But my male friends and I would laugh, while the ladies generally looked askance.  Beowulf seemed to enjoy it, although he would always shake his coat when returned to the floor.


"I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive."
Gilda Radner

#Dog's #fixed #stare: gets him what he wants

Look into my eyes.  Look at my smile.  You cannot resist me.

      Gizmo believes that if he is cute enough and he stares fixedly enough he will get the doggy treat he wants.   This fixed stare, which most dogs have mastered, communicates volumes to his humans and, down through the ages and certainly in our home, allows the #dog to get pretty much what he wants.


"Old age means realizing you will never own all the dogs you wanted to."
--Joe Gores

Defeated by #Gizmo: #Dog 1, owner 0

Please, please, please: sometimes I just want what I want

2 am: Gizmo, in cage, after relieving himself in the garden at 11 pm, whimpers.  I try to remain asleep, but I am awake.  I turn on lights, walk to his containment cage, say, NO, and loudly slap the side of the cage.           
          3:10 am:  More whimpering, same response from me.   
          4 am: light barking, more whimpering from the #dog.  Same response, preceeded with shining flashlight in his face.  More louder “NOs.”      
          4:45 am: after turning off the burglar alarm, more “No’s from me, then I let him out in the back yard, where he runs to his place to urinate and stays there a long time.  Then he runs inside and laps up nearly an entire bowl of water.  Instead of putting him back in the cage, I go to my office. 
         He happily walks ahead of me (am I losing dominance?) and goes to sleep in his corner under the desk.  I leave him there for the rest of the night, although I close the doors to our bedroom so he cannot get in there and possibly pee on the white rugs.             
         Gizmo is the clear winner.  Is he learning that if he whimpers enough, he will get what he wants? 

     
"When the old dog barks it is time to watch."
 Latin Proverb

First International Bowwow #Doggie #Film #Festival

Ready for my close-up. 

     …the International Bowwow Doggie Film Festival in San Francisco invited dogs and their ownerts to attend a full-day program including a family-friendly matinee, a dog parade, prizes, and live adoptions. Ticket proceeds benefit Muttville, a nonprofit dedicated to improving the lives of senior dogs                          

           A photograph was taken of all the dogs in the audience.  Participants were given treats from Nate’s Nibbles and shampoo from Earth Bath.

          Sniff! The Movie, starring Amanda Plummer, and Pound!, a satirical look at shelter life, were screened.                                                                                                                                              COMMENT: no word on how the theater’s rugs fared with all the dogs in attendance.

     “A composite dog is a dog that's made up of all the valuable qualities that's in the dog breed--kind of a syndicate; and a mongrel is made up of the riffraff that's left over.” - Mark Twain in Eruption from "His Grandfather's Old Ram" speech

#Dog eats $1,00, returns $900, becomes part of #1%

Running from any accusation of eating money
Time:Dog Eats $1000 in Cash, Only Returns $9004

            Dogs are notoriously indiscriminate eaters and have been to chow down entire pizzas and blocks of cheese.  

             (COMMENT: when we lived in Mill Valley, CA, our next door neighbor’s dog, a big #Labrador, rushed through the open front door of our home, ate nearly 2 pounds of cheese warming for expected company in less than 30 seconds, almost immediately barfed it up, and then seemed determined to visit our home again, probably figuring that the same treats would always be there.)       
        … one Florida pooch sure knows how to tear through her owners’ cash. By literally eating their money.       
            Tuity, a four-year-old chow/Labrador mix, chowed down on $1,000 left on a countertop.   Her owners had left the ten $100 bills in an envelope, ready to head to the bank. But the money found its way into Tuity’s stomach. When St. Augustine resident Christy Lawrenson returned home, she found shreddings of the bills around the house, and a guilty dog sitting nearby.   
         “She ate the bill, the envelope … everything,” Lawrenson told the St. Augustine Record.   After inducing the dog to cough up the cash, the Lawrensons were able to piece together the bills, to the tune of $900. 
       (COMMENT: Tuity thus became part of the 99%.                
       Their bank replaced the nine bills for crisp ones, but one of the Benjamins was beyond repair.  That’s because Tuity ate too many serial numbers to make it valid.   The Lawrensons sent the tattered bill to the Department of Treasury with an explanation in hopes that the government will replace it. 
        (COMMENT: Probably not.  After all, we ARE in debt.)                

     “My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives.”   Rita Rudner

  PREV

Is #Gizmo part #soft-coated #Wheaten #Terrier?

Gizmo: any Wheaten in him?

soft coated Wheaten Terrier

                  Veterinarian who examined him before we adopted him said that Gizmo was a #Shih Tzu.  As noted earlier, Gizmo is approximately twice the size of a Shih Tzu, making him some sort of Super Shih Tzu.                                                                                                                               We have tried to figure out just what breeds are in him, with some saying he is part Lhasa or other breeds.  Now we think we have solved the puzzle:                                                               When we were in the dog park in Santa Fe, NM, Grace found a dog who shared many of Gizmos looks, although its legs were a little longer.  The face and ears really did resemble Gizmo’s.  The dog was --- a soft-coated Wheaten Terrier.  Please check out the picture of Gizmo and the Wheaton and tell me if we have solved the Gizmo heritage problem without resorting to an expensive DNA test.                                                                                                       By the way, according to justdogbreeds.com, the Wheaten terrier is:

“formidable, energetic, determined, bossy, feisty, scrappy and fearless. His prey-drive is high and he will chase anything that moves. He's always up for a good argument with another dog and will not back down from a fight, no matter how big the other dog is.  He won't tolerate being treated badly by a child, but he is very gentle and loving with respectful children. He's highly playful. He's quick to bark.”  Sounds like a difficult, awful dog, and Gizmo shares almost none of those traits. 

       " A wise man associating with the vicious becomes an idiot; a dog travelling with good men becomes a rational being."
--Arabian Proverb

Being a #dog #owner means discussing dumps

Look, I never asked you to talk about my private matters.

      Owning a dog means that frequently it seems that the main conversation about the dog concerns bowel movements and urination.   

          This morning, before I had coffee, I talked with Grace about Gizmo’s execratory behavior.  Were there any “accidents”?  No.  What did he do when you let him out of the cage?  Dash across the bridge and into his area in the back yard behind the palm trees, pause out of sight for a while, and then run back.  Did you actually see him defecate?  No.                                                               When I pointed out that the bulk of our conversation about our dog was about his habits while relieving himself, Grace said, “Of course it is.  When you have a dog, you cannot talk about his grades in school.”   

       And I have to stop writing this because it is time to give Gizmo a walk and I have talked about that enough.  (Afterwards,  I can proudly add that during our walk, Gizmo not only waited until near the end of the walk – meaning I would have to carry the now-filled plastic bag only a tiny distance – but I am also proud to report that he released quite a huge dump.)

     “Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.”  - Mark Twain, a Biography

#Bradley #Cooper: #Sexiest #Man #Alive #Loves Rescue #Dogs

Sexiest Man Alive, and Charlotte

               People magazine crowned Bradley Cooper as its 2011 Sexiest Man Alive. And while The Hangover star certainly has a lot going for him — good looks, a hot career — it’s his love of rescue dogs that we find sexiest.  (MY COMMENT: aren’t we going a little far afield to find a dog tie in?                                                                                                            In 2009, Cooper discussed his love for his dogs Samson and Charlotte, saying, “I have two beautiful dogs … I cherish. Samson is a 14-year-old German short hair pointer and Charlotte is a 6 or 7 year-old Chow Retriever mix. They are both rescue dogs and they are the best … I’m sort of a hybrid of both my dogs. Samson is stoic and makes me earn it and Charlotte loves me undyingly. They’re my kids.”                           Although Samson is sadly no longer with us, Charlotte is still Cooper’s best buddy. He told People that he “fell in love with her immediately,” and happily brings her on set with him.  “I’m not supposed to, but [she] hang[s] out in my trailer.”   (Comment: Good girl, good life, Charlotte.)                                                                                                   And Samson still has a place in Cooper’s life. After the dog passed away last year, Cooper immortalized him by hanging an enormous photo of Samson in his house.                                                                                 So, just would a woman need to do to land this self-described, “single, 36-year-old-male”?  “She has to like my dog. My dogs and I come in a package,” he says.  (HMMM: what kind of package are we talking about?)   (This interview may be enough to convince me to send letters in support of #Ryan #Gosling.)

           “We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.”  Rita Rudner

#Smart #dog: makes himself small when we are about to go out

You get a lot by just staring at your owner. 

We are about to use our outdoor hot tub.  Because Gizmo had urinated on the rugs in Grace’s office and in our bedroom, we wanted to prevent such accidents from happening.                                                                                                                Gizmo observed me as I closed the doors to my office, Grace’s office, preventing him from erring in those places again.                                                                                  He knew that the next doors to be closed were to the master bedroom, a place he wanted to be because the doors to the outside might be opened for him so he could wander around while we relaxed.                                                                                    As I closed the hallway doors, he became a dog with focused energy.  He rushed into the bedroom, went beside the easy chair and curled into a small ball, making him as inconspicuous and as small as possible.  Oh, yes, that position also somehow made him heavier so that picking him up was more difficult than normal.                                                                            What did Grace and I do?  We smiled.  We grinned like fools.  We agreed that we loved him very much.  Then, when I re-opened the doors and went into the hallway, he followed me, we quickly closed the doors and Gizmo was left outside, away from rugs he enjoyed urinating upon.                                                                                 When we returned to the bedroom and opened the door, Gizmo was resting quietly beneath a shelf in the hallway.  He rushed into the bedroom and stayed very close to us as we dressed for dinner. 

          “If a dog will not come to you after having looked you in the face, you should go home and examine your conscience.” Woodrow Wilson

Almost all #owners believe their #dogs are #blameless, #perfect

         Whatever happens, most owners totally believe that my dog was perfectly behaved and not at fault.  People and their dogs are like parents and their darling, perfect bratty ill-behaved children.                             

       For instance, there were yapping, nipping, ill-behaved Chihuahuas in dog park with someone who (II thought) said he was a dog behaviorist.  As I left, I heard him talking about the “issues” his dogs have.   It seemed to me that the owner/behaviorist was the one with the problems and chief amongst them were not disciplining his dogs.        

      Then there was the woman in Santa Fe who blamed all other dogs and owners and refused to notice that her dog was a biter.                                     

        Of course, during both incidents, my #dog #Gizmo was perfect at all times.  As I noted earlier, ALL owners believe that their dogs are perfect and, if there is any misbehavior, it must be the fault of the other owners or the other dogs.      

     If parents were more interested in their children’s schooling than they presently are, I’m sure that similar attitudes (my kid’s perfect, everyone else is at fault) would prevail and the school system, currently under attack, would suffer severely.  

           “I am called a dog because I fawn on those who give me anything, I yelp at those who refuse, and I set my teeth in rascals.”  Diogenes

Discussing how much we #love our #dog

        Ginny Weissman visits.  She is Gizmo’s “godmother.”  We owe much thanks to her: she drove an hour and a half to get this #dog from the pound, when it had only 24 hours OR LESS in which to live.  She helped us through the bad times when we weren’t sure we wanted to keep Gizmo after taking him “temporarily” for “only a few days.”   She has always been our most positive reinforcement for the unconditional love of a dog that tries to be good and often succeeds.          

Oh, yes, I love to be loved.

         We got together with our mutual friend, John Powers, who wrote the book and the musical “Black Patent Leather Shoes” and is my best friend.  Before we talked about our current diseases or the diseases of friends (we are all of an age to do that), we talked about and complimented Gizmo, who is becoming a nearly perfect dog.  We are so lucky to have been united with a dog that has Giz’s easy-going temperament.      We are fortunate to have him in our lives and to have re-connected with Ginny in time for her to find him for us.                  

          John said that one of his three King Charles Spaniels escaped from his home in Lake Geneva, WI, while he was out of town.  The little nipper, which is only a puppy, is nicknamed the “Devil Dog” for his destructive ways, having torn up a couch and other furnishings in three rooms.  John vowed to discipline his dogs and we agreed that, for their own safety, some training must be done.

             Then, with only the slightest of knowing looks, we returned to praising Gizmo, who lay quietly, asleep at my feet.  He is, everyone agreed, a wonderful and beautiful dog.   We love the little guy.          

        “There's just me and my wife and a dog and we feed him #Healthy #Choice also.”  Mike Ditka

The old #Gizmo is back, loving us as much as before.

It is good to be back.

        The next morning, the old Gizmo has returned.  When I unlock the cage and let him out into our accident-free kitchen, he is his old tail-wagging, smiling, leaping, love you-love you self.  When we go for a walk, he has his old jauntiness, his bright step which tells the world that all is fine, this is a grand day and Gizmo is proud and happy to be part of it.                                                                      

           When we return home and Grace is awake with coffee ready, Gizmo runs to greet her, leaping to nuzzle her lap, wagging his tail.  All is forgiven and forgotten.  My kvetchiness about Gizmo’s greeting has been erased.  Our beloved dog has returned to us.

         “There are times when even the best manager is like the little boy with the big dog, waiting to see where the dog wants to go so he can take him there.”  Lee Iacocca

We get #Gizmo after a week at #Sam's. #Disappointed.

What more do you want from me?  After a bath, I say hello as best as I can.

         We pick up Gizmo after a week at Sam’s Green Paw and again we are a little nervous.  After several calls, we have been guaranteed that Gizmo is enjoying himself, having a great time and getting along well with others.  
        But will he recognize us?  Has he forgotten us?  What will his reaction 
be to us when we take him home?   
          Even worse, last night it occurred to me that he has spent nearly a week in a huge room with dogs his own size.  We asked that he be given a bath because he has been lying down where other dogs urinate.  
      He has also been urinating where he wants to and when he wants to in the equivalent of a living room.   Has he forgotten all our training and housebreaking?  Will he return home and assume that anywhere at any time is what we want of him?  How long will it take to re-educate him, if necessary?    
         Before he comes downstairs, I ask the attendant if there are 
problems going from Sam’s to home, with bad habits needing to 
be unlearned.  He said, no, that the home environment was 
different from Sam’s and the dog will quickly re-learn the habits previously taught.  I have my doubts, even though that is good news.                    
        Then, Gizmo comes down the stairs.  He has been beautifully and successfully bathed, so he looks fluffy and rather large.  He also looks happy.                      He comes to me, stands on his hind legs and buries his head in my crotch, a traditional Gizmo greeting.  Grace gets an only slightly more subdued hello.       
         Payment made, we go out to the car, where the cage is in place.  Gizmo leaps up into the trunk and enters the cage.  I enter our home address on the GPS and about a half hour later than we wanted to leave because Sam’s misplaced his collar with all his tags and licenses we begin our 2 ½ hour drive to Palm Desert, CA.                       
         Within minutes of entering the cage, Gizmo, evidently exhausted 
from the doggy day care experience, goes to sleep and doesn’t move 
until we open the doors at the local Costco, where we re-supply some 
of our food needs and our dog indicates it is time for him to relieve himself.   
          To tell the truth, his greeting after a week of separation is a bit disappointing.  Yes, he jumped joyfully towards us when he saw us; 
and yes, it was about as energetic a greeting as we get when we return
 home after being away for more than half an hour.  But, it was not 
the fully energetic, unstop all the stops, and let the emotions flow greeting that I was expecting.                                                                                                  
            He may simply be tired or maybe he is a little upset with us at leaving him in the first place.  Maybe he is getting more mature and his old puppy love leaping is a thing of the past.   Or, perhaps more likely, we got a fulsome greeting, with all the energy he could muster at the moment.        
          Let’s see how he greets us after a good night’s sleep                      tomorrow morning.

        “Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.”  Phyllis Diller